Don't Bring it Home
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Work can be demanding, and it’s all too easy to let the
stress of the day follow you home. For busy professionals, whether you’re in
corporate or not, and especially those in leadership roles, separating work
stress from personal life can feel impossible. But not having boundaries, letting
that stress run into your evenings, weekends, and even your relationships, can
make a bad situation worse by leaving you feeling drained and disconnected.
The good news? You can take practical steps to keep work
stress at work and reclaim your home life as a place of connection and presence.
Let’s cover some strategies to help you transition from work mode to home mode
effectively, whether you commute or work from home.
An End-of-Day Ritual
One of the most effective ways to mentally and emotionally
leave work behind is to establish a consistent end-of-day routine. In his book “Deep
Work,’ Cal Newport calls the strategy “shut down complete.” This signals to
your brain that your workday is over, helping you switch gears more easily.
Try these end-of-day rituals or create some of your own:
- Write
a “brain dump” list: Jot down unfinished tasks, reminders,
or ideas so they’re out of your head and ready for tomorrow.
- Close
your laptop and tidy your workspace: This small act tells your brain
the workday is complete. Once you
close it, keep it closed.
- Change
your clothes: Shifting into comfortable attire can signal relaxation
and a mental shift from “employee” to “home self.”
Remember changing from school clothes to play clothes as a kid? It’s kind of like that.
- Do
a short meditation or breathwork practice: Even five minutes can help
release tension and reset your nervous system. I sometimes do a visualization
to let all the day’s events and stress drain out of my system and into the
floor. That way I can be fresh for the next part of my day.
Build a Transition Buffer
Going straight from work to family or social time without
decompression can make it hard to be present. Creating a “buffer
zone” helps you release lingering stress before you engage with your loved
ones. If you commute to and from work,
you probably already do this like a pro but haven’t thought about it. During the
pandemic when I was fully working from home, I realized how much I missed my
audiobook routine during the commute each day.
Here are some buffer ideas:
- Listening
to music or an uplifting podcast or audiobook on your commute.
- Taking
a short walk to clear your mind. This
one is helpful even if you work from home.
- Practicing
deep breathing exercises before walking through your front door. I had a colleague
who would sit in his car and actively release the day mentally before
going inside to his family.
This transition time allows you to decompress, reflect, and
reset.
Set Strong Digital Boundaries
Technology makes it easy to stay connected 24/7, but
constant availability for work fuels burnout. Creating firm boundaries around
work communication is essential.
Set these boundaries to protect your personal time:
- Establish
clear “offline hours” and communicate them to your team. Make
sure emergency calls are truly that, an emergency. Define emergency for
them, like a death or the payment systems are down.
- Turn
off email and work-related notifications after a set time. Notification used to be helpful, but if
you’re anything like me, the constant notifications just become
noise. It’s better to set them to
your notification center and turn the rest off.
- Resist
the urge to check your phone for “just one more thing.” We have
a rule at our house, and it is “no phones at the dinner table.” The kids hold us accountable too.
Instead of being distracted, we share what went well in our day and what
we are looking forward to.
By defining when your workday ends digitally, you create
mental space to recharge.
Create an “Unwind Routine”
Stressful workdays can trigger a fight-or-flight response
that lingers even after you leave for the day. Developing a reliable unwind
routine helps your nervous system calm down so you can enjoy your evening
fully.
Some ideas for unwind techniques include:
- Gentle
stretching or yoga to release tension.
Better yet, take a class right after work.
- Journaling
to process the day’s thoughts and feelings. I like to use a 5 year journal
before bedtime. I write down a few notable things I am grateful for that
day. It’s fun to look at it year after year.
- Spending
time in nature to reset your energy. If you have a yard, why not grab a
beverage and sit outside with your partner after dinner and notice the
wildlife hiding in plain sight.
- Engaging
in creative hobbies that bring you joy. It could be a sport league or
class. A few years ago, we signed up for ballroom dancing (and now we get
to show our mean Bachata moves at every wedding we attend).
Find what works for you and make it a consistent habit.
Prioritize Connection and Joy at Home
Stress thrives in isolation, while connection and laughter
act as powerful antidotes. Intentionally creating positive moments at home
helps you reset emotionally and mentally.
Ideas to boost connection at home:
- Plan
simple family traditions, like Friday movie nights or board game sessions.
- Share
a “good news” roundtable at dinner to shift focus to the
positive.
- Take
part in lighthearted activities that bring you joy, whether dancing in the
kitchen while cleaning up together or playing with your pet.
- Carve
out time each day to connect. My husband and I spend at least 10 minutes
every night just catching up on our day and sharing memes. We now have a saying, “my insta or
yours?” It doesn’t have to be anything too deep.
By actively making time for connection, you’ll create an
emotional buffer that helps work stress feel less invasive and your family will
be much happier having your undivided attention.
Release Perfectionism
For high achievers, it can be tempting to dwell on
unfinished tasks or mentally replay the day’s challenges. But perfectionism
only fuels stress. Instead of focusing on the challenge, try to see the lesson
it taught you.
Practice letting go by asking yourself:
- “Did
I give my best effort today?” (if not, that’s ok too, but can you
give more tomorrow?)
- “Is
this something I can revisit tomorrow (when I’m fresh and energized)?”
- “What
positive impact did I have today?”
Reminding yourself that you did your best helps you mentally
close the workday and focus on what matters most at home.
Get Support if Needed
If you find that work stress is still creeping into your
personal life despite your best efforts, it may be time to seek support.
Talking to a coach, counselor, or trusted mentor can provide guidance and
strategies to better manage stress and improve your work-life balance. I once worked
with a couple who worked together from home. The biggest complaint was that
everything always came back to work. If you are in a situation like this, it’s
even more important to create boundaries.
Leaving work stress at work isn’t just about creating better
habits, it’s about protecting your well-being, relationships, and joy. By
implementing strategies to protect your peace, you can reclaim your home life
as a space of rest, play, and meaningful connection.
Remember, you deserve to come home to peace. With
intentional effort, you can create the boundaries and routines that make this a
reality.
***
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suggestions and feedback!
And if you are too burned out and overwhelmed to even
begin to use any of these strategies it might be time to get some help. Find a
coach, therapist, or doctor who can help you reverse out of the physical,
mental, and emotional symptoms of burnout so you can get back to living in life
you love.
Remember, Self-care isn’t selfish…it’s required!
Yvonne Lee-Hawkins, IPHM, is a holistic Leadership and
Wellness coach, stress strategist, and writer, who spent 20 years in corporate
and leadership functions. When she is not working, she loves to go on nature
adventures with her family, in the Pacific Northwest where they call home. You
can find out more on her website,
or follow her on LinkedIn,
Medium, or Instagram.
If you want some help creating better boundaries, or with
general wellness, schedule
a call here.
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benefit from this, please share it with them!