Enjoying the Holidays: Self-Care and Boundaries Made Simple

The holiday season is supposed to be full of joy, laughter, and togetherness, right? Well, if that isn’t true based on your experience it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Families are complicated.  Having unrealistic expectations of what the holidays are supposed to look like can leave you feeling deflated.

Let’s be honest, for many of us, the holidays can be packed with stress, endless to-do lists, and often complicated family dynamics. If you’ve ever felt more drained than delighted by the holidays, you’re not alone. That’s why taking care of yourself is key to enjoying this time of year.

Self-care and good boundaries aren’t just buzzwords; they’re required to stay sane and happy during the holidays (and throughout the year). Here’s how you can practice both, even if your schedule is full and your family relationships are tricky.

Why Self-Care and Boundaries Matter

During the festivities, it’s easy to put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. You want to make people happy, keep traditions alive, and avoid conflict. But ignoring your own well-being can lead to burnout, resentment, and even health issues.

Good boundaries and self-care allow you to:

• Protect your energy.
• Say yes to the things that truly matter to you.
• Say no to the things that drain you.
• Enjoy the season without feeling overwhelmed.

The best part? When you take care of yourself, not only are you more empowered, but you’re better able to show up for others in a meaningful way. Let’s dive into some practical steps to make this happen.

Step 1: Know Your Limits

Before the holiday chaos kicks in, take a moment to think about what really matters to you this season. Ask yourself:

• What’s most important to me? (e.g., spending time with loved ones, relaxing, or giving back.)
• What activities bring me joy, and what feels like an obligation?
• How much time, energy, and money am I realistically able to give?

Write these answers down and let them guide your decisions. If something doesn’t align with your priorities, it’s okay to let it go.

Step 2: Practice Saying No (Kindly)

Sometimes we feel that during the holidays, we have to say yes to everything. Invitations, gift exchanges, travel plans can pile up quickly. But overcommitting only leads to more stress.

Here’s how to politely say no:

• To events: “Thank you so much for the invite! I’d love to join, but I’m already booked that day.”
• To extra work: “I’d love to help, but my plate is full right now. Maybe we can revisit this after the holidays?”
• To family drama: “I understand how you feel, but I’m focusing on keeping things peaceful this year.”

Remember, saying no to something you don’t have the capacity for is really saying yes to yourself.

Step 3: Plan Self-Care into Your Schedule

Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. The key is to prioritize activities that recharge you. Here are some ideas:

• Take a break: Schedule 10–15 minute breaks throughout your day to do something just for you, like reading, meditating, or sipping a hot beverage (like Chamomile tea).
• Get moving: Physical activity, even a short walk, can boost your mood and reduce stress.
• Sleep: Don’t let late-night wrapping or party prep rob you of rest. Aim for 7–10 hours of sleep per night.  Very recent research has shown that women actually need closer to 10 due to their complex hormone cycles, knowing this has been a game changer for me.
• Eat well: Enjoy holiday treats, but also fuel your body with nourishing foods like leafy vegetables, and colorful fruit to keep your energy up.

Block out time for these activities on your calendar, just like you would for holiday gatherings, meetings, or errands.

Step 4: Set Boundaries with Family

Family can be wonderful, but let’s face it, they can also be challenging. If you have a complicated relationship with a family member, the holidays might bring stress or conflict. Boundaries can help.

Here are some tips for setting boundaries:

• Be clear and kind: For example, “I’m looking forward to seeing everyone, but I can only stay for two hours.”
• Limit sensitive topics: If certain conversations always lead to arguments, politely steer clear of them. “Let’s agree to save controversial topics for another time and just enjoy the day.”
• Create an exit plan: If things get tense, have a way to gracefully leave the situation, like stepping outside for fresh air or heading home early.

It’s okay to put your peace first. You deserve to feel safe and respected.

Step 5: Focus on Joy

At the end of the day, the holidays are about connection and celebration. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on the moments that make you smile.

• Simplify your traditions: Choose a few meaningful ones and skip the rest. I’ve created a list of 50 Holiday Tradition Ideas to try anytime if you need some inspiration.
• Connect with loved ones: Whether in person or virtually, quality time matters more than fancy decorations or gifts.
• Practice gratitude: On the day, write down as many things as you can think of to be thankful for. Gratitude can shift your perspective and boost your mood.

Step 6: Ask for Help

You don’t have to do everything alone. Delegate tasks to family members, ask friends for support, or hire help if you need it. If the holidays still feel overwhelming, consider booking a call with a coach or counselor. Sometimes an outside perspective is exactly what you need to create a plan that works for you.

Enjoy the Season Your Way

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of self-care and good boundaries. By prioritizing your well-being, you can enjoy the holidays without the exhaustion or frustration. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s the best way to show up fully for the people and moments that matter most. So go ahead, light those candles, sip some cocoa, and savor the magic of the season—on your own terms.  You can even skip them altogether if that is what you need. Permission granted!

As another resource, I’ve also created this Holiday Survival Guide to give you even more ideas of how to care for yourself.  No strings attached. Enjoy!

Wishing you and yours a happy, simple, joyous and calm holiday from my family to yours!