How to Effectively Self-lead When the Year Didn't Go as Planned
As we approach the end of another year, it’s natural to reflect on the goals we set, the plans we made, and the unexpected twists and turns that came our way. Maybe this past year didn’t unfold the way you hoped. Perhaps life threw curveballs, derailed your momentum, or left you feeling stuck. But here’s the thing: every ending is a chance for a new beginning. And resilience, the ability to adapt, grow, and thrive in the face of challenges—is the key to making the next year better, no matter what this one brought.
Resilience isn’t just about weathering storms or bouncing back; it’s about bouncing forward. It’s a skill you can build, a mindset you can cultivate, and a strategy you can use to turn setbacks into setups for an even better future. Let’s explore how you can harness resilience to close this year with intention and step into the new one with strength and purpose.
What is resilience, anyway? It’s the ability to adapt, to grow, and to thrive no matter what life throws at you. And here’s the best part: resilience isn’t something you’re born with or without. It’s a skill—a muscle you can build every single day.
Let’s dive into how you can develop resilience to overcome stress and create a life of balance and wellness. Whether you’re feeling burned out at work, overwhelmed by responsibilities, or just stuck in a rut, these strategies will help you rise stronger.
Master Your Mindset: The Foundation of Resilience
Your mindset is the control center of your resilience. If you’re stuck in negativity, stress will hit harder and stay longer. But if you train your brain to see challenges as opportunities, everything changes. A positive mindset doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect or ignoring when things aren’t going well. It means seeing things as they are but not worse than they are. It means facing reality with optimism and determination.
How to Train Your Mindset:
- Reframe Challenges: Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What can I learn from this?”
- Practice Gratitude: Write down three things you’re grateful for every day. Gratitude rewires your brain for positivity. What you focus on you find. By focusing on what you can be grateful for, you find more things to be grateful for.
- Focus on Solutions: When problems arise, shift your energy from worrying to planning. Ask, “What’s my next best step?” You don’t have to solve the whole problem, just start with one action towards solving the issue.
Emotional Awareness: Your Inner Compass
Stress often intensifies when emotions go haywire. Resilience grows when you learn to recognize, process, and manage your emotions. This doesn’t mean repressing your emotions, but rather noticing them, and then reacting how you choose, not just based on your first impulse. Emotional awareness helps you respond to challenges calmly and make better decisions under pressure. Instead of snapping at your colleague for making a mistake, you can take a deep breath and use the mishap as a learning opportunity.
How to Build Emotional Awareness:
- Check In Daily: Pause and ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” Label your emotions without judgment. During my worst case of burnout, I had to set “how am I feeling reminders” because I was completely numb. By scheduling a minute or two to think about how I was feeling, it helped me reconnect with my body and emotions.
- Journal Your Thoughts: Writing down your feelings helps you process them and gain clarity. It’s not just a great exercise for young girls, many successful CEO’s admit to journaling to capture their thoughts, feelings, ideas, and to look back and analyze them.
- Breathe Through Stress: Use deep, intentional breaths to calm your nervous system when emotions run high. I know I talk about it a lot, but 4-7-8 is my favorite breathing exercise for stress and anxiety. It’s so easy, breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 7, and breathe out for 8. Repeat 4-5 times and your heart rate will return to normal.
Problem-Solving Power: Take Charge
Life throws curveballs, but resilience is about stepping up to the plate with confidence. Problem-solving isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about being resourceful and persistent. Use the lessons from this year to build strategies for success in the next.
How to Strengthen Problem-Solving Skills:
Break It Down: Big problems feel overwhelming. Break them into smaller, manageable steps.
Brainstorm Solutions: Write down every idea—even the wild ones. Creativity sparks answers.
Take Action: Start with one small step. Action builds momentum and clarity.
Self-Compassion: Your Inner Ally
Resilience isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being kind to yourself, even when you stumble. Self-compassion helps you bounce back faster and stronger.
You can practice self-compassion by speaking kindly to yourself. Replace self-criticism with supportive thoughts, like, “I’m still learning.” It’s also important to celebrate small wins. Acknowledge every step forward, no matter how small. If you make a step backwards, learn from your mistakes. See failures as lessons, not definitions of your worth. Failures are steppingstones to success. I like the saying “you haven’t failed until you quit.”
Build a Support System: Strength in Connection
You’re not meant to do life alone. Resilience grows when you lean on others for encouragement, perspective, and support. Strong relationships are your safety net when stress hits.
Building your support system doesn’t have to take a long time. Simple things add up. Reach Out to friends and colleagues. Don’t wait for others to check in. Send a message, make a call, or meet up with someone you trust. Ask for help. This is a hard one for many of us, but sharing your struggles doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. Plus, people generally love to help others, so by asking for help, you allow them to feel good about themselves. Be a supporter. When you help others, you strengthen the connection and feel empowered, too. Make sure it’s a two way street.
Long-Term Strategies for Resilience
While bouncing back from stress is crucial, building habits for long-term resilience keeps you steady through life’s ongoing demands.
Set Boundaries: Protect your time and energy by saying no to what doesn’t serve you. “No” is a full sentence. No explanations necessary. Don’t make excuses. My favorite way to say no to an invite is “I won’t be able to attend but thank you for thinking of me.” If I want to be invited again, I say “I’d love to be invited again next time.” Only offer that up if you mean it.
Prioritize Self-Care: Exercise, eat well, and get enough rest. A healthy body fuels a resilient mind. It’s truly ok, to take care of yourself first. It’s like they teach you on every airplane ride. Put the mask on yourself before assisting others. You can’t be helpful to anyone if you are burnt out.
Stay Flexible: Life changes. Adapt by keeping an open mind and a willingness to pivot. How can the challenge in front of you make things even better? You might get the chance to be even more creative in your problem solving.
Keep Learning: Growth fuels resilience. Challenge yourself to learn new skills or perspectives regularly. If someone or something triggers you, take a moment to reflect on why? Perhaps their view point is a blind spot for you. What can you learn from it?
Your Action Plan for Resilience
Ready to put these ideas into practice? Start today with these simple steps:
- Reflect on a Recent Challenge: How did you respond? What could you do differently next time to build resilience?
- Set One Small Goal: Whether it’s practicing gratitude, journaling, or reaching out to a friend, commit to one action that boosts resilience.
- Celebrate Progress: At the end of the day, acknowledge what you’ve done to move forward.
Resilience isn’t about avoiding stress—it’s about thriving despite it. The journey from burnout to wellness starts with one step, one decision, and one habit at a time. Resilience isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress. As you close out this year, give yourself credit for showing up, learning, and persevering. And as the new year begins, know that you have the power to turn challenges into triumphs, setbacks into comebacks, and uncertainty into opportunity. The next chapter is yours to write, and resilience is the pen. Start today.
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And if you are too burned out and overwhelmed to even
begin to use any of these strategies it might be time to get some help. Find a
coach, therapist, or doctor who can help you reverse out of the physical,
mental, and emotional symptoms of burnout so you can get back to living in
healthy balance.
Remember, Self-care isn’t selfish…it’s required!
Yvonne Lee-Hawkins, IPHM, is a holistic Leadership and Wellness
coach, stress strategist, and writer, who spent 20 years in corporate and
leadership functions. When she is not working, she loves to go on nature
adventures with her family, in the Pacific Northwest where they call home. You
can find out more on her website,
or follow her on LinkedIn,
Medium, or Instagram.
If you want some help becoming more resilient, preventing
you or your team from burning out, or with general wellness, schedule a call here.