Social Self-Care

The Power of Social Self-Care in Preventing Burnout

We know the importance of self-care, but often think of spa days, massages, and pampering ourselves with bubble baths. If you’ve read any of my previous articles, hopefully you know that it is much more than that. Self-care includes anything that recharges your battery and something you do to reinvigorate yourself deliberately and often.

One thing we sometimes miss, that is becoming increasingly problematic, is social self-care. Social self-care emphasizes the importance of community, relationships, and mutual support, and is frequently overlooked in the conversation around burnout prevention. However, connecting with others and building a supportive social network is crucial to maintaining well-being, managing stress, and ultimately avoiding burnout.  Social connection is so important, in fact, that last year in 2023 the U.S. surgeon general, Vivek Murthy, issued a 71-page advisory warning of an American “epidemic of loneliness and isolation.”  In that report, he cited a study that showed that loneliness is worse for your health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Let’s explore what social self-care is, and how you can take steps to ensure that your connections and relationships are adding to your health and wellbeing.

Building and Maintaining Supportive Relationships

Relationships, like it or not, serve as a cornerstone of your emotional and mental resilience. Studies consistently show that strong social connections reduce stress, improve mental health, and create a buffer against burnout. Sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with others brings relief, provides perspective, and can even reduce physiological signs of stress, such as blood pressure and cortisol levels. It doesn’t just feel good to have friends, it’s actually better for your health.

The Role of Supportive Relationships in Burnout Prevention

Supportive relationships offer empathy, advice, and a sense of understanding. When professionals are overworked or experiencing burnout, they often feel misunderstood or isolated in their struggles. Some feel shame or guilt around their exhaustion or inability to perform like they are used to. Many are top performers who are simply running on empty. Connecting with a friend, family member, or mentor who listens without judgment and offers constructive feedback can be incredibly affirming. This kind of support can help you feel seen, heard, and valued, which can be powerful in combating feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy associated with burnout.

Research suggests that people who maintain strong relationships are more resilient under stress. This resilience stems not only from the practical advice friends and colleagues can provide but also from the emotional support and encouragement that close relationships offer. Knowing that someone genuinely cares for your well-being can be a powerful motivator to take breaks, set boundaries, and prioritize self-care.

Ways to Cultivate and Strengthen Supportive Relationships

 Many of us think that building relationships should come naturally. However, with the rise of technology, while connectivity has become easier, true connection has become harder. Many of us have shallow relationships unintentionally. Building supportive relationships takes time and effort and maintaining them requires regular engagement and reciprocity. Consider it as an investment in your health and wellbeing. You first have to engage and invest, before you can withdraw the benefits.

Here are strategies to develop and sustain relationships that serve as a foundation for social self-care:

1. Invest Time in Meaningful Connections 

   Developing close relationships requires repetition. Allocate time to connect with people who lift you up, even if it’s just for a quick coffee or a phone call. Scheduling regular check-ins can help sustain bonds and create a rhythm of mutual support. Pay attention and make the effort to connect with people who when you leave the interaction, you feel better and uplifted. Avoid people who drain you.

2. Practice Active Listening 

   Showing genuine interest in someone’s experiences builds trust and deepens connections. Active listening, where you pay full attention to the other person without interruption, creates an environment where both parties feel valued and understood. If this doesn’t come naturally to you, it’s ok to take notes.

3. Offer and Ask for Help 

   True support is reciprocal. While it’s essential to offer help to others, don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Asking for help can feel vulnerable and awkward, but letting others support you, especially in times of stress, builds a solid foundation for lasting relationships. Don’t take away someone’s opportunity to be helpful to you. We all like to help others, it makes us feel good about ourselves. By allowing yourself to be helped, you are giving them the chance to feel good.

4. Set Boundaries for Healthy Interactions 

   Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding. Setting boundaries helps ensure that interactions remain positive and sustainable. For example, if a conversation is veering towards negativity or becoming overwhelming, it’s okay to take a step back or redirect the discussion to a more supportive topic. If someone is consistently overstepping your boundaries, it is perfectly ok to minimize contact with them (even if they are a family member). You don’t owe anyone your peace.

5. Express Gratitude Regularly 

   Acknowledging the people in our lives and expressing gratitude can strengthen bonds. Small gestures, like a thank-you note or a simple “I appreciate you,” remind those around us of their importance in our lives and reinforce positive feelings in the relationship. One of the most meaningful gratitude I’ve ever received was from a coworker who sent me an email, unexpectedly, saying how much she appreciated having me in her department. I still remember it over a decade later.

Importance of Community and Social Interactions

Community plays a vital role in providing a sense of belonging and shared purpose, both of which are essential in preventing burnout. For professionals, engaging in meaningful social interactions and contributing to a community create a sense of fulfillment that is difficult to achieve alone. Feeling part of something bigger than oneself builds resilience, offers perspective, and can significantly impact mental and emotional well-being. Many professionals, including myself, have found community in our work colleagues. This is great, but don’t forget to build community outside your job as well. For example, you can find community in a yoga or running group, or a book club gathering.

How Community Acts as a Buffer Against Burnout

Being part of a community serves as a reminder that we’re not alone in our experiences. Whether it’s a professional network, a group of friends, or a neighborhood organization, community offers social validation. Shared experiences within a community allow individuals to witness others overcoming similar challenges, providing both inspiration and a sense of camaraderie.

In the workplace, strong team bonds and a collaborative culture can mitigate the effects of stress. When colleagues support each other, celebrate wins together, and tackle obstacles as a team, the work environment becomes more enjoyable and less taxing. This supportive workplace culture can also reduce feelings of isolation, making it easier for employees to cope with stress and avoid burning out.

Types of Community Involvement Beneficial for Burnout Prevention

If you would like ideas about other places to find and create community, here are some suggestions.

Professional Networks and Support Groups 

   Connecting with like-minded individuals in professional networks or support groups offers a space for individuals to share struggles, learn from one another, and celebrate successes. Many industry associations and online groups are designed to support professionals experiencing stress and burnout, providing tools and peer support to help them manage challenges. You can google “professional networking groups near me” or find ones specific to your particular career like lawyers, engineers, HR, or entrepreneurs.

Volunteer Work and Altruistic Activities 

   Participating in volunteer work offers a break from the demands of one’s professional role while contributing to the well-being of others. Studies show that helping others can boost mood, reduce stress, and provide a renewed sense of purpose. Volunteering, particularly in an area you’re passionate about, often brings fulfillment and can counteract burnout. One of my mentors used to say, “all suffering happens when you are focused on yourself.”  Meaning that by focusing on helping others, you create a sense of purpose and pride for yourself. Need ideas for places to volunteer, check out your local food pantry or find opportunities on sites like Volunteer Match or the Way.

Social Clubs and Recreational Groups 

   Engaging in hobbies with others, whether it’s through a sports team, book club, or artistic endeavor, provides a positive outlet for stress. Social clubs allow for interactions that aren’t focused on productivity or work, giving professionals a chance to unwind, recharge, and build relationships based on shared interests rather than job roles. I’ve found great social interactions in running and yoga groups (based on my own interests). You can find social groups on Meetup or through your local gym or YMCA or community center.

Family and Neighborhood Communities 

   Often, we overlook the support available in our immediate environments. Family members and neighbors can offer valuable connections, especially when cultivating relationships with those who are supportive and understanding. Neighbors can be a source of connection through regular interactions, and families provide an anchor of stability and care. If you live in an apartment building, offer to host a game night or happy hour in the building lounge (if there is one). You might even talk the building management into paying for it. If you live in a neighborhood, ask your neighbors over for a barbecue or coordinate a block party or garage sale.

Practical Ways to Integrate Social Self-Care into Daily Life

As always, I want to make sure I leave you with simple and practical actions you can take today to socially self-care. Incorporating social self-care into daily routines can feel challenging for busy professionals, but making small adjustments to connect with others can significantly improve your quality of life and resilience against burnout. Here are practical ways to prioritize social self-care:

1. Schedule Regular Social Activities 

   Block off time for social engagements just as you would for work tasks. Even brief meet-ups or virtual calls with people who energize you can reinvigorate your day and provide needed relief from stress.

2. Engage in Group-Based Hobbies 

   Join a local class, club, or meetup group where you can interact with others while doing something you enjoy. These settings encourage camaraderie and provide a consistent opportunity for social engagement.

3. Leverage Technology to Stay Connected 

   Distance doesn’t have to prevent connection. Utilize video calls, messaging apps, and social media to maintain bonds with friends and family, especially when in-person meet-ups aren’t possible. I like using Marco Polo (a video messaging app) and have asynchronous conversations with my best friend in another state several times a week.

4. Create Supportive Networks at Work 

   Make an effort to build relationships with coworkers beyond work-related tasks. Socializing during breaks or participating in team-building activities can build a collaborative atmosphere and create a supportive network within the workplace. See if your company has special interest groups or start one yourself. I’ve seen groups that include women in engineering, girls who code, and dudes who like broom ball. You can even ask if the company has a budget for this type of engagement. Many do.

5. Practice Empathy and Compassion 

   Try out a social group that has different beliefs or cultures than you. Cultivating compassion for others builds stronger relationships and fosters a supportive environment. You may learn a lot about the group and about yourself. By relating to people different than you and showing empathy, it strengthens existing connections and creates a positive ripple effect, encouraging others to be kind and supportive in return.

Social Self-care: An Important Part of Wellness and Burnout Prevention

By investing in supportive relationships and participating in community activities, professionals can gain the strength and resilience needed to navigate the pressures of modern work life. Supportive relationships provide comfort and motivation, while community involvement builds a sense of belonging and purpose. Together, these elements form a powerful defense against burnout, helping you to cope with stress and thrive despite it.

Prioritizing social self-care is a reminder that we are not alone. Through our connections with others, we find a shared strength, a reason to keep going, and a community that uplifts us through our most challenging times. Embracing social self-care allows us to cultivate resilience, well-being, and a deeper sense of fulfillment.