Selfcare as a Survival Skill for Individuals and Leaders

Understanding Self-care

What is self-care and why should we be practicing it?  One definition of self-care is “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”  Why is this important? Because we all experience stress on a daily basis. Some stress is helpful (like hormesis) helping our bodies to adapt and evolve with our environment, while chronic stress (like worrying about safety and financial security) can cause physical and mental health issues increasing your odds and timeline to dying. 

One myth about self-care is that it is a luxury that includes “fluffy” activities like going to the spa.  While massages are a great form of self-care, they are momentary relief valves, not solutions to the root cause of the problem. The sexiest self-care?  In my experience as a leader, they are boundary setting, delegating, and asking for help.

How to think about selfcare as an individual

When considering a self-care strategy for yourself, it is important to consider physical, mental, emotional, and social forms of care. Physical selfcare may look like taking a walk, establishing an earlier bedtime, or eating healthier. Mental selfcare can look like participating in hobbies, learning a new skill, or engaging in a mindful activity like solving a puzzle. Emotional self-care may include reflection practices like journaling, meditation, or going to therapy. And social self-care includes building healthy relationships with people you can trust. All of these components are important in living a meaningful and satisfying life.

How to think about selfcare as a leader

As a leader of a team, it is important to lead by example and show your team that you value your own self-care, and how you practice it. This could include sharing openly how you manage stress and how those who are still learning under you, can learn to manage theirs. It includes open discussions about what is causing stress and whether it is real or imagined. A new product launch may be causing stress, but is necessary for the business to be successful and bring in revenue. An arbitrary internal deadline may be causing stress due to lack of resources, but is basically “made up” for the sake of progress. As a leader, you need to be able to understand and communicate the difference. Using unnecessary stress to “motivate” your team is an ineffective leadership strategy. Sure, it works to push through sometimes, but if used often will lead to burnout and turnover on your team. This creates further stress and resource constraints for who remain, and increases cost to replace your people. 

As a leader it is also important to self-care so that you do not suffer from decision fatigue. This is the idea that the ability to make decisions becomes worse after making many decisions in a day. Many decision makers (including myself) will get frustrated having to make the decision about what to eat for dinner after a long day. We are then likely to make worse decisions. On a health kick and promised yourself to lose ten pounds? When I experience decision fatigue… forget the healthy salad; we are more likely to go out for meals like tacos or burgers if we haven’t planned ahead. 

By far the most important selfcare behavior that a leader can have is to encourage a culture that respects personal time and boundaries. A leader that emails on weekends and evenings, or expects immediate responses to slack messages past office hours, is asking for burnout on their team. A smart leader knows that the people on their team have lives outside of work. Effective leaders understand that these important activities, values and experiences outside of work are actually what makes the team more successful as a whole. While a team of dedicated workers who live, eat and breathe for your company may seem like a recipe for success.However, their ability to think broadly and bring in expertise from their experiences is minimal. In the long term, success comes from teams who have diversity of thought and expertise. That can only come from people who lead diverse lives. If they are tethered to their laptop, their experience and expertise becomes more and more limited. 

Practical Self-care Strategies for Leaders

As a leader you likely understand that routines create efficiency. Wherever possible, setting up simple habits and practices into daily schedules helps make your team more effective. This is why standard operating procedures are so important in any operation. “Complexity is the enemy of execution.”  This could be a simple team check-in every morning, or at the beginning of every week. A place for team members to collaborate and answer questions, and regular touch points for discussion and clarification are must haves on any team. 

Practicing and modeling delegation is another leadership habit that seems to be underrated. No one can do everything themselves. And why would they want to?  Building trust and empowering your team is one of your most important roles as a leader. This requires communicating the vision, outcome, and expectations clearly. It also requires giving constructive feedback and coaching along the way. It’s not easy.  You have to be in tune with your team, and be able to give critical and constructive feedback that motivates your team. When a leader can do this, their team regularly exceeds expectations.

Setting boundaries as a leader isn’t just about recognizing office hours, but much more importantly the ability to prioritize and say NO to non-value added work. Like the famous Steve Jobs quote says, “deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.”  By clearly articulating what is important, and how to decide what does NOT get priority, you can teach your team to be more autonomous. Through your clear communication, they will know how to prioritize their work, and how to handle it when unexpected obstacles come up. 

Taking breaks is another important leadership behavior. If you are a leader who caps out on vacation time every year, you need to take a hard look in the mirror. What does time off usage look like on your team?  Your team may be dedicated and passionate, but if they are not taking breaks, they are on the road to burnout. It’s not a matter of if, but when. Even robots need time to recharge. Have you seen this clip of a robot collapsing after 20 hours of straight work?  Think about that the next time you are preparing for a busy quarter. A wise person once said “if you don’t schedule a break, your body will take one for you. And it probably won’t be at a convenient time.”  It’s much easier to encourage your team to take regular recharge breaks throughout the year, than find yourself facing resource constraints because a high percentage of your team is on medical leave.

Creating a Selfcare Culture in the Workplace

When considering the health and wellness of your employees, you cannot leave results up to good intentions. I was recently talking to a friend who wrote his PhD dissertation on Organizational culture and work-life balance with the use of technology. He shared his frustration that most companies acknowledged the need for work-life balance, but that none that he knows of have any mechanisms in place to actually create such an environment. With the ability to be connected 24 hours a day, through smart phones and laptops, companies put the responsibility of self regulating being “on” on employees themselves.

So how do you tackle the issue of burnout?  By creating policies and systems that encourage and support selfcare.  Many companies have generous benefits offerings, but who within the organization is encouraging their teams to use time-off and use it well?  Is anyone even checking? Many companies have EAP (Employee Assistance Programs), but who in leadership is testing them to see how easy they are to access?  One frustration that I have always had with EAPs is that they give lots of resources, but don’t test their effectiveness. One personal example I share often is that when we uprooted and moved our family across the country, I was looking for a child psychologist to help my young daughters with some coping skills. My company’s EAP recommended a list of five therapists in my area. I contacted every single one, and none of them even took children as patients. Highly frustrated, I ended up finding one through word of mouth in an unofficial parents’ group. 

Education and Training is another way to help employees understand and utilize self-care practices. Just by offering these type of trainings, you are showing that the topic is important and supported. Be cautious when using this though. People will smell bullshit if you serve it. As a senior leader I once had to train my international teams on “Psychological Safety” as part of a top down mandated training. This was while leading a team in a toxic work environment. Members of my team appreciated the topic, but suspiciously and fairly called out that our top leadership was themselves creating a space that was not psychologically safe to begin with. A training like this can backfire when it seems like a check the box exercise. 

The culture also needs to have a working mechanism for feedback and improvement. Leaders need to be listening to the concerns of their teams and actually put in place strategies to address those concerns. One rule as an HR professional that I often told leaders who wanted to survey their team was “don’t ask a question you you aren’t prepared to address the answer to.”  That is not to say don’t ask, but once you ask, you are responsible for that knowledge. You can’t simply ask your team how they are feeling and let that data slip into a black hole. Use it wisely. If you don’t, you lose the trust of your team and you build a reputation of being insincere and ineffective. Where many leaders stumble, is in the follow up. You not only have to listen, but you have to let your team know what you heard, what you did with that information, and then ask again if there are more concerns to be shared. This is great communication advice for relationships as well. 

To recap, selfcare isn’t selfish, it’s required. It is needed for individuals to maintain their physical, mental, emotional and social health. It is also required for leaders to build effective teams and sustainable cultures. It is everyone’s responsibility to ensure we are taking care of ourselves. As leaders it is doubly important not just to take care of yourself, but also your team, and to model healthy selfcare behavior. 

So what can you do today? Here are some ideas:

As an individual:

• Quality Sleep: Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night by establishing a consistent bedtime routine.  Trade your device for a paper book if you like to read in bed.  

• Healthy Eating: Plan and prepare nutritious meals, and stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water throughout the day.  You can start by bringing a packed lunch once a week. 

• Exercise: Commit to at least 30 minutes of physical activity each day, it could be walking during your lunch break, attending a yoga class, or a workout at the gym. If that seems out of reach, start with a 2 minute walk every day after lunch. It’s less about the time, and more about consistency.

• Mindfulness: Spend 5-10 minutes each day practicing mindfulness or meditation to reduce stress and improve focus. It could be as simple as quietly noticing your breath. Or if you prefer a guided meditation, check out the InsightTimer app that has free as well as paid mediations. 

• Digital Detox: Take regular breaks from screens and social media to unwind and recharge your mind.  Pro-tip: charge your phone away from your bed so you aren’t tempted to start and end your day by scrolling. 

As a leader:

• Self-Reflection: Allocate time each week for self-reflection, journaling, or evaluating your goals and progress.  This includes your priorities both personally and professionally, individually and for your team. 

• Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time to ensure you have space to recharge.  Allow your teams to do the same. Bonus points if you discuss it openly to make your intentions clear. 

• Delegate Tasks: Trust your team with responsibilities to reduce your workload and allow for efficient use of your team’s resources. A pro move is to teach your team how to effectively delegate. 

• Regular Breaks: Schedule short breaks throughout the day to step away from work, clear your mind, and relax.  Make sure your time-off bucket isn’t over flowing. Use the time to recharge and come back with a fresh perspective.

• Professional Development: Invest in coaching or mentorship to enhance your leadership skills and personal growth.  Lou Holtz, a former Notre Dame coach and analyst, is credited with saying, “In this world you’re either growing or dying so get in motion and grow”.  Make sure you are continuing to develop yourself as a leader. 

This topic was inspired by International Selfcare Day. The International Self-Care Foundation (ISF) established International Self-Care Day in 2011 to raise awareness about self-care and its benefits for individuals, families, and communities. The day is celebrated on July 24th each year to symbolize that self-care should be practiced 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The World Health Organization (WHO) now recognizes the day as the end of International Self-Care Month, which begins on June 24th. Self-care Month is also celebrated in the United States in September. Let’s see how much selfcare progress we can make by then!

Let me know if this topic added value for you. Please like and subscribe if you want more wellness topics like this. And tell me what other wellness topics you’d like to read about by commenting or DM me. I always love suggestions and feedback!